Should Men and Women Do the Same Household Chores Equally? PEL Family Students Talk About It

Duties between men and women are generally decided differently from one society to another. When it comes to deciding who does what, culture and region play an important role. The way household chores are shared in one society may be completely different from how they are divided in another. But one question remains a dilemma in modern society: Should men and women do the same household chores equally?

In their English Club, students of Poetic English with Luc Mulindwa (PEL) conducted a vivid debate about this matter. The discussion took place on November 15, 2025, in order to practice their English-speaking skills.
Most of them, born and raised in Africa, shared similar points of view, with slight differences in details or perspectives.

But wait a moment. What are household chores?

Basically, household chores are routine tasks people do to keep a home clean, organized, and running smoothly. They include cleaning, washing dishes, doing laundry, cooking, taking out the trash, making the bed, cleaning the bathroom, grocery shopping, ironing clothes, tidying up rooms, and so on. They are daily home duties.

Some people, generally men who have never done these tasks, may think they are easy or not worth being paid for. However, for those who have experienced them, these tasks can be quite difficult, even if many people don’t see it that way.

During the debate, PEL Family members, men and women, took time to share their thoughts, and we are going to unfold their ideas one by one.

For Mr. Alex Mushagalusa, traditionally women have done more at home, and some people still prefer that model: “Some tasks might be better done by one partner depending on skills or time.”

Mr. Clément Mulindwa disagreed with the old African saying: “A woman’s place is in the kitchen.”
He thinks the husband should help the wife with household chores, but it should not be an obligation.

“Household chores shouldn’t be divided strictly between men and women. A man can help without being forced, and he can even do all the household chores if he wants to.”

Joshua Dhamani believes that a strict fifty-fifty division should not be a rule in relationships.

“What matters is good communication, agreement, and love. Equal support doesn’t necessarily mean equal tasks. If the man works outside for long hours and the woman is at home, she can handle the chores and vice versa.”

He called on society to promote mutual respect and understanding, regardless of gender, background, or beliefs.

Mr. Bahati Junior offered another perspective: “For me, it has nothing to do with culture. It’s about managing my home. Helping my wife with chores shows responsibility in my marriage. It doesn’t diminish me or remove my role as the man of the house.”

Grace KB, a member of the club from Bujumbura, disagreed with the topic. For her, men and women should not do household chores equally. Her argument relied on three points :

• Man is the head of the family and has many responsibilities outside, so he may not have time for household tasks. He can help his wife when she is busy, sick, or not at home.
• African culture teaches respect for men. Sharing household chores equally is not accepted in many communities. If a man does it, it is out of love, not obligation.
• If a man helps even once, the woman may expect it regularly, which could lead to misunderstandings in the marriage.

Still, she believes men and women can help each other. In conclusion, she called on parents to teach their children especially boys to help with chores because love shows itself through support.

To end the debate, I reminded everyone that the world has evolved and society continues to change. The way people lived a century ago is not the way we live today.
In the past, women stayed at home, gave birth, raised children, and handled household chores because they were always present at home.

With emancipation, things have changed. Today we have female CEOs, directors, and politicians. Women are no longer only housewives. In many families, both partners leave for work in the morning. Should a man return home and still expect his wife to do all the household chores?

Both are human and both can get tired. Leaving everything to the woman is dehumanizing.

Secondly, when both men and women do household chores, it teaches fairness.
Lastly, raising children to do all tasks without saying some chores belong only to girls, prepares them for the future. No one knows what tomorrow holds.

So, parents should normalize teaching boys and girls to clean, cook, and handle household responsibilities. These basic skills can save them from trouble in the future and help them become responsible adults and partners.